sleep talking

josh always has conversations in his sleep that make no sense. i am usually awake for these and i ask him questions to keep him talking. then i write down the conversations on the journal next to the bed so i don't forget. sometimes he even opens his eyes and i'm SURE he must be awake, but he has no recollection whatsoever when i ask him about it in the morning. some of these i posted before, and a few are recent. #6 just happened last nite and i was laying in bed laughing so hard i had tears rolling down my face.

#1
josh (rolls over): DOG LIFE!
me: what?!
josh: dog years.
me: what are you talking about?
josh: it means unlimited.
me: WHAT means unlimited?
josh: you don't know how to count good! (rolls back over)

#2
josh (rolls over): are you guys gonna put ed on the show?
me: did you just ask 'are you gonna put ed on the show?'
josh: yeah, that'd be sweet.
me: ed who?
josh: A VIKING!
(rolls back over)

#3
josh (rolls over): i can't tell what's dead and what's not!
me: josh, why are you saying such creepy things to me?
josh (gets an angry look on his face): i'm talking about the damn things!
me: what damn things?
josh: the newspapers!
me: what newspapers?
josh: ohhhhhhh, you know, damn it!
(rolls back over)

#4
josh (rolls over): "PIE!" (rolls back over and goes to sleep)
*note: josh doesn't even like pie*

#5
me: josh, stop grinding your teeth.
josh: i'm still chewing on food!
me: no you're not.
josh (angrily): YES I AM!
me: no, you're not. you're sleeping.
(josh opens his eyes and looks confused, then lays back down and falls asleep)

#6
josh: anything on the menu is $5.
me: what?
josh: she can pick anything on the menu and its just $5.
me: what menu?
josh (props himself up on his elbows and motions to his pillow in front of him): this menu here.
me: that's not a menu, that's your pillow.
josh: don't be dumb, just listen to what i say! (rolls over and falls back to sleep)
*when josh rolled over 5 minutes later i asked him if he was awake and he said yes. this time i asked what he was dreaming about, and he laughed and told me mcdonalds*