Friday, August 7, 2009

assworld

well, today has been the end of an era for me. i quit my job of 8 years.

it just got to be too much. i have been miserable there for a long time, and unhappy there even longer. it seems like nothing that you do is ever good enough, and when it got to the point where i was being punished even though i was working my ass off AND bringing in above average numbers, i knew i just couldn't do it anymore.

i have been wanting to quit for so long and have threatened it so many times that i thought the day it finally happened would be the happiest day of my life. but now i'm sitting here feeling guilty that i put such a burden on josh and worried about what's going to happen next. i know i should have had a plan first before doing this, but i couldn't take another minute of it.

i know that they are going to be screwed without me, which brings me a small amount of satisfaction. my mom keeps telling me that they did me a favor by finally pushing me over the edge, because i have known for so long that i needed to get out of that place and it was shove i needed. all of this is well and good, but DAMN 8 years is a long time to get used to something.

i don't normally believe in this stuff, but i can only hope that it's a good sign that as soon as i put in my two weeks, i got a fortune cookie with the following inside: "the wheel of good fortune is finally turning in your direction!"

still, i'm scared.

7 comments:

  1. I think fear keeps us alive... being miserable in your job just sucks your soul. I think after 8 years, you deserve to be happy in your job. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. In your case, it's to find what makes you truly happy:)

    www.akanedesigns.blogspot.com

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  2. It is definitely scary..but there is a reason that you left. And I don't mean the literal, like you left because you pushed over the edge.
    I am right there with you on the guilt, but
    I promise you, something better will come along,
    and you will look back on this decision and
    be so friggin' happy.
    I totally sound like a motivational speaker! hahaha.
    Seriously though, sending you good vibes, and congrats on getting out of the hell hole!

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  3. thanks kate and christina, it really means a lot...xoxo

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  4. I got laid off in May. It wasn't totally unexpected--I worked for a contract manufacturer in Ohio--but still I live on my income alone. Since then, my tension headaches are gone, my stomach problems are gone, and I sleep really well. It was a very stressful place to work, with lots of negativity and weirdness. No matter what I did, nothing was appreciated.
    You took a stand, did what you needed to do, and there's something better out there for you. Everything will be all right.
    Thinking good thoughts for you.

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  5. it sucks that you guys have to know what it's like to relate (no one should have to deal with that nonsense)...but thanks for making me feel like i'm not the only one. i really appreciate all the kind words. xo

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  6. Bravo! Sometimes the best things in life come by being able to stand up for ourselves!

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