well it's the only music that makes me feel good -- the kids

at least once every other month, i wake up in the morning from a dream where josh has left me/dumped me/cheated on me. sometimes i wake up crying. then i have to spend the rest of the day feeling very panicked, because dreams have a way of messing with your head to think that they are real when they are not. i hate those days. it happened today when i was dreaming that josh walked into my house very early in the morning with a girl and i knew that since she was there so early, they just had to have spent the night together. it's funny how you know things to be true in your dreams. so when josh and the girl walked in together, i pulled him aside and asked him, "you love her, don't you?" and he said, "yep!" just like that. hmph. when his alarm finally went off (in the real world) i kept mumbling to him over and over how "horrible!!!" it was. for the rest of the morning i sent him "please don't leave me!" texts and he reassured me he wasn't going anywhere (all the while, thinking i was crazy). dreams are creepy. but the whole concept of losing josh is a very real fear of mine, so much so that i would have this reoccurring theme in my subconscious. finding your perfect match is both the most wonderful and most terrifying experience in the world. he makes me deliriously happy to the point where i feel like i didn't know what i was missing before i met him. but if anything were to happen to him, i can't begin to imagine how my brain would short circuit.


anyway. i can't get this song out of my head. the band is called ryan pits and the boy toys and i just booked a show for them here in cleveland on march 9th. it's really frustrating (as both a dj and a lover of music in general) when you get hip to something new and exciting, but you just can't get other people to give a shit. booking shows in cleveland is HARD. i wish we were one of those cities where people went out to shows just to see something new and support live music. overall, we are not. at least, not in the circles i run or the genres i deal with. i think it might help to appeal to younger crowds that are still impressionable and open to new things, but i don't quite know how to go about it. maybe i could start one of those programs where i go around to area middle schools and teach kids the importance of supporting bands/music and the plight of rock'n'roll in a live setting. or i guess i could just keep blogging about rock'n'roll youtube videos. ugh.